hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
