somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
