at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
