he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
