I heard we made out
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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