Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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