Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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