he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
