Just cropdusted the office
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he just fucked me for my cheese..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
