I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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