yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Hippo gnu deer
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
