we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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