Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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