his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
