mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize