I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
