she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
