I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
