Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Less talking, more tequila
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize