What a fucking waste of an outfit
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
