there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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