super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I look better un-naked...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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