The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
