Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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