LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize