Jerry, you need to find god
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are we still banned from the library?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
