who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize