Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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