grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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