I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think your dad took our porno
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
