I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
