girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
