We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
