We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
