Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
