And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
