dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Ketchup is God's man juice
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
