his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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