fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
