i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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