I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
