Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
