Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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