I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
