I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
