Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
