if i died would you start the facebook group?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
