it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
