Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
