Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
