why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
