dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My bed smells like the plague
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
