all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm passing your future prison.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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