Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
