Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
