her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize