i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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