they need to just BURY HIM!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My breasts were aching with rage.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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